If I Were an Appellate Judge...

A friend of mine recently pointed out that I end a great many of my posts with "fuck it." I think that this would make an excellent signature opinion. Sure Cardozo and Learned Hand may have been famous for their "brilliant prose" and "legendary judicial reasoning," but did they ever end an opinion with: "Fuck it, AFFIRMED."?

Opinions written in Limmerick or Haiku wouldn't be a bad idea either. Palsgraf v. Long Island R.R. would go a little something like this:

Jumped on moving train
Guards help him and package falls
Man's package explodes

Plaintiff nearby, hurt
Conduct not wrongful to him
Not proximate cause

Or perhaps a Lettermanesque opinion, with the "Top 10 Reasons Appellant is Not Entitled to Relief."

Fuck it, Reversed....I mean, off to study.