My Day in Court (Sort of)

Despite a total lack of hard work and preparation, I somehow made it to the second round of the Omar Megahed Oral Advocacy Tournament. Unfortunately, I didn't make it to the quarterfinals. I've been ruminating on my performance, and I think I know where I went wrong. Here's a transcript of what may have been my biggest blunder:

Me: May it please the court. Your honors, there are two good reasons this court should refuse to enforce this exculpatory contract. First, Respondents cannot contract away their own negligence because their organization falls within the Tunkl public duty exception. Second, because I'm just a caveman. Now my first point...

The Court: Maybe I misheard you - did you just say you're a caveman?

Me: Yes your honor.

The Court: If indeed that was the case, shouldn't you have died a million years ago?

Me: Perhaps your honor, but I fell in some ice and some of your scientists found me and thawed me out.

The Court: Counsel, assuming that you are a caveman, how is that relevant to our decision?

Me: Well your honors, your world frightens and confuses me. When I get a call on my “cell phone,” I wonder how the voices come out of this magic box. Are there demons inside? I don't know, I'm just a caveman. My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But I do know this - Respondents cannot contract away their own negligence.

The Court: I see...

Funny thing is, when I argued for the respondent in the preliminary rounds, the judges thought my argument highly persuasive that if Chewbacca lives on Endor, the contract must be enforced.