Fuck. Shit. Cock. Balls.

According to a recent Associated Press poll, Americans are exposed to more profanity than they were 20 years ago. Also, according to this survey, some prude fucking dickburglers actually give a fuck.

Irene Kramer, a grandmother in Scranton, Pa., gets her ears singed when passing by the high school near her home.

“What we hear, it’s gross,” says Kramer, 67. "I tell them, 'I have a dictionary and a Roget's Thesaurus, and I don't see any of those words in there!' I don't understand why these parents allow it."

The price is wrong, bitch - but you probably didn't bother to actually look it up. However, it might be a recent addition. I mean, do you have any idea how hard I tried as a child to find a dictionary definition of the word “fuck”? Or even “damn”? Seriously, it was like a fucking puritanical conspiracy to keep eager young children, keen on expanding their vocabulary and refining their proper grammatical usage, from an integral segment of the language. I mean, talk about stifling a child's natural curiosity - I fucking guarantee that there are more 10-year-old boys looking up “tits” than “onomatopoeia.”

And even if that weren't the case, language isn't bounded by a motherfucking dictionary. It's a living thing that evolves over time. As Wittgenstein said, you can't give a sign in the wrong sense - if the sign is understood by the listener, it is part of the language. This means that newly invented profanity (i.e. “cuntbubble”) can be more linguistically relevant than a more established, but obscure, sign (i.e. "tachydidaxy").

But she goes on:

For Kramer, a major culprit is television. "Do I have to be insulted right there in my own home?" she asks. "I'm not going to pay $54 a month for cable and listen to that garbage." And yet she feels it's not a lost cause. "If people say 'Look, I don't want you talking that way,' if they demand it, it's going to have to change."

It's called the fucking market, grandma, and Adam Smith is giving you the invisible finger. First of all, I guarantee you're still a fucking cable-subscriber because you don't want to spend your retirement years without Matlock reruns, ordering useless shit off of QVC, and random second-rate movies from the Forties on Turner Classic Movies that remind you of a golden past before your tits migrated below your goddamn knees. Nobody, least of all you, is going to change a fucking thing. In reality, you're going to take it in the ass and continue to pay the cable company $54 a month. Sure, you may rant about it to your sewing circle, but angry ranting doesn't change a goddamn thing, and I know that better than anyone. If it did, we'd have the homeless fighting to the death in gladatorial battles for our amusement and Hugh Hefner's birthday would be a federal holiday.

The point is, there's a market for G-rated shit and "family" entertainment, and cable has certainly catered to serving it. That's why if you want to see a cartoon with a character who says things like, “Shut up Kyle! Shut your goddamn Jew mouth! You're the reason that there's war in the Middle East!” you turn to Comedy Central, and not the motherfucking Disney Channel. And thanks to the market, you're more than welcome to watch Mrs. Cleaver and Lassie save the fucking orphanage. Just shut the fuck up when you flip past shows that them crazy youngsters watch because that's what really brings in the dollars. This will be easier to accept, Mrs. Kramer, if you just repeat after me: “I am not a key demographic. My opinion doesn't matter.” There - isn't that better?

Fuck it.